The course of being an adult has tested me greatly this week. I will not go into much detail due to the fact that it involves personal trials and tribulations of others close to me, and to discuss them on a public forum goes against my moral code. In my own perspective, however, the whole situation has left me bewildered, unsure, scared, which has resulted in feelings of anger. Granted the anger is a by-product of the cumulation of the other pretty strong feelings I have been experiencing and is most likely misplaced, it nevertheless took a hold of me tonight and all I wanted to do was really hurt a punching bag. Going to train tonight was ideal when I found out we were going to work on some kick boxing. Punching and punching HARD was in the schedule!!
I need to make a little side note here: I train in Zen Karate. Zen Karate was founded in Canada actually, by a cool guy called Sensei Olaf Simon. Some might recall him in some commercials in the past. Zen Karate is comprimised of three types of martial art styles; Taekwon do, Shotokan Karate and Kickboxing.
Ok, where was I? Right. Kickboxing. I was the lowest belt tonight. The next lowest, a blue belt which is 4 belts higher than me. It was all good of course, did I mention I was going to get to punch REALLY HARD?? The warm up went well. I am pretty happy that I can get through *most* of them and still be able to breathe afterwards. It means I am slowly getting into better shape which is of course totally awesome. Once the drills started, I finally found myself relaxing a little. Breathe in. Focus on the mitts. Jab, cross, hook, exhale with each hit. The rhythm that you get into is wonderful. Soon, the hum drum of the other students hitting the mitts slowly fades into the background and all there is, is you, your gloves and that little red dot that you zone in on while making your hits. Even your thoughts, emotions and , for me, the whole weeks worth of cares slowly slip away, leaving you empty inside with the exception of: Jab. Cross. Hook. It’s a most amazing experience. We then started the kicking drills... switch front, then back leg front. I am terrible with switch kicks. They feel very awkward. I have no rhythm with them. I think I started to try too hard and then found myself tensing up. The next thing I know I hear this “pop” and I am suddenly on my butt on the floor and my ankle is screaming. Did I mention I already wear a brace on my left ankle? I am beginning to wonder if I am going to have to start wearing one on my right as well. I ended up having to leave halfway through the training session. Not fun hobbling out to my car. Even less fun driving home... I had to use my left foot to brake. By the time I got home the darn thing (I believe I was using much more colourful metaphors when I tried to go up the stairs to the deck) was swollen up like a tennis ball.
My hubby, the wonderful man that he is, had ice, tensor bandages, pop and nacho’s waiting for me when I came hobbling in. I am going to feel guilty later for gorging on cheese, greasy hamburger and sour cream, but hell I might as well enjoy something about tonight. Now I sit nourished, with half a bottle of wine demolished writing my weekly blog post. I may or may not finish the bottle. Tomorrow night, sushi and sake. I will hopefully be able to train a little on Sunday but I am not holding my breath.
If all else fails, sit ups and kata visualisation .
Regards,
Anne.
Filled with passion full of purpose
Friday, March 26, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
To Breathe
"Our breath plays a very important role in our life. The breath is the connecting link between the inner world of the mind and the outer world of the body and environment."- Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
Wednesdays karate class definitely made wonder about how much of my life I spend holding my breath.
It all started with a brutal warmup. Nothing really made it stand out from all the other warmups I have been doing, in fact, most of the excersizes we did were standard for our class. Upon thinking it over I decided two things that impacted my warmup. First, the workout was done at a higher rate of speed, and secondly I simply forgot to breathe. Not so good when you are doing 50 jumping jacks, 20 push ups, 20 situps, and deep knee bends, and core excersizes...X2. By the time we hit the stretches I felt like my lungs were instantaneously being wrung out like a wet dishrag and about to explode into a million pieces within my chest cavity. It took at least five stretches for me to be able to slow down my air intake, to a point were I wasn't literally gulping oxygen. Imagine a fish without water.
Ok Anne, breathe.
Immediately after the warmup, we hustled over to the other side of the dojo to do our kata. I 've been feeling pretty confident about my kata, I am even to the point where I can do it with my eyes closed and finnish in the right direction. Well, maybe I was a little overconfident as my sensei sure had a lot of things to say about it. My knifehands were off, my opposite hand was coming off my belt when I was doing my upper blocks, I even turned in the wrong direction (drat, DRAT, DRAT!!!). Crestfallen would be a nice way to describe what I was feeling. However, devastated, and near tears would sum it up more accurately. I have been working so damn hard on that thing, and to faceplant as badly as I did... well let's just sum it up as another EPIC FAIL! I must be growing as a person because normally that would produce tears for me. Someone once told me that more people cry out of extreme frustration than out of sadness. I have to agree somewhat. It used be that a random thought would trigger my over active imagination and thus cause tears. Trust me, I used to be the victim of my own catastrophic imagination. Not so much anymore though. In fact these days I only cry out of frustration... and sad movies, oh and sad music, and tragic poetry, and unfair things that happen to people...
Holy hell, did I ever go on a tangent, trust me I have a point.
OK Anne breathe.
This time it was a matter of breathing to calm myself down, to take the time to remind myself that there will be other times to do it correctly and other times to make a huge mess of it. Perfection is merely a perception, not a reality.
Breathe.
I seemed to find my redemption in sparring. Sparring for some reason, is not something I look forward to doing. Once I am all geared up on the floor actually doing it, however, its another story completely. I love moving all the time, trying to figure out my opponent, and then testing the waters with my own measures and counter-measures. I am, however, still in the proccess of learning how to fight without every single muscle in my body tensed and expelling huge amounts of very much needed energy . Fighting is apparently all about being relaxed, I suppose in the next seven years I will eventually learn how to do it. I have been told previously by one of my sensei's that I have to simply breathe while fighting. Sparring continuously for two and a half minutes with 30 seconds to a minute rests between them, still take a big toll on my body. Usually by the end of the second round I am doubled over frantically trying to inhale twice, hold, then exhale. I am so out of shape. This time was very much like the others. Doubled over, gasping for breath. The difference, my sensei noticed my fighting and complimented me in front of the class. After class I got quite a few compliments, one of my good karate friends told me that I would be the person to have with you in a bar fight, and another one told me that they would love to see me when I have a few belts, uh, under my belt :P I left class euphoric, elated, and doing the happy dance to my car in a way that is uniquely Anne.
In the end, its all about breathing. It is not only a physical means to intake oxygen, but also a way to calm and give perspective. Remember that when life is troubling. Breathe. Don't hold it bottled up inside your body and soul, simply breathe.
Wednesdays karate class definitely made wonder about how much of my life I spend holding my breath.
It all started with a brutal warmup. Nothing really made it stand out from all the other warmups I have been doing, in fact, most of the excersizes we did were standard for our class. Upon thinking it over I decided two things that impacted my warmup. First, the workout was done at a higher rate of speed, and secondly I simply forgot to breathe. Not so good when you are doing 50 jumping jacks, 20 push ups, 20 situps, and deep knee bends, and core excersizes...X2. By the time we hit the stretches I felt like my lungs were instantaneously being wrung out like a wet dishrag and about to explode into a million pieces within my chest cavity. It took at least five stretches for me to be able to slow down my air intake, to a point were I wasn't literally gulping oxygen. Imagine a fish without water.
Ok Anne, breathe.
Immediately after the warmup, we hustled over to the other side of the dojo to do our kata. I 've been feeling pretty confident about my kata, I am even to the point where I can do it with my eyes closed and finnish in the right direction. Well, maybe I was a little overconfident as my sensei sure had a lot of things to say about it. My knifehands were off, my opposite hand was coming off my belt when I was doing my upper blocks, I even turned in the wrong direction (drat, DRAT, DRAT!!!). Crestfallen would be a nice way to describe what I was feeling. However, devastated, and near tears would sum it up more accurately. I have been working so damn hard on that thing, and to faceplant as badly as I did... well let's just sum it up as another EPIC FAIL! I must be growing as a person because normally that would produce tears for me. Someone once told me that more people cry out of extreme frustration than out of sadness. I have to agree somewhat. It used be that a random thought would trigger my over active imagination and thus cause tears. Trust me, I used to be the victim of my own catastrophic imagination. Not so much anymore though. In fact these days I only cry out of frustration... and sad movies, oh and sad music, and tragic poetry, and unfair things that happen to people...
Holy hell, did I ever go on a tangent, trust me I have a point.
OK Anne breathe.
This time it was a matter of breathing to calm myself down, to take the time to remind myself that there will be other times to do it correctly and other times to make a huge mess of it. Perfection is merely a perception, not a reality.
Breathe.
I seemed to find my redemption in sparring. Sparring for some reason, is not something I look forward to doing. Once I am all geared up on the floor actually doing it, however, its another story completely. I love moving all the time, trying to figure out my opponent, and then testing the waters with my own measures and counter-measures. I am, however, still in the proccess of learning how to fight without every single muscle in my body tensed and expelling huge amounts of very much needed energy . Fighting is apparently all about being relaxed, I suppose in the next seven years I will eventually learn how to do it. I have been told previously by one of my sensei's that I have to simply breathe while fighting. Sparring continuously for two and a half minutes with 30 seconds to a minute rests between them, still take a big toll on my body. Usually by the end of the second round I am doubled over frantically trying to inhale twice, hold, then exhale. I am so out of shape. This time was very much like the others. Doubled over, gasping for breath. The difference, my sensei noticed my fighting and complimented me in front of the class. After class I got quite a few compliments, one of my good karate friends told me that I would be the person to have with you in a bar fight, and another one told me that they would love to see me when I have a few belts, uh, under my belt :P I left class euphoric, elated, and doing the happy dance to my car in a way that is uniquely Anne.
In the end, its all about breathing. It is not only a physical means to intake oxygen, but also a way to calm and give perspective. Remember that when life is troubling. Breathe. Don't hold it bottled up inside your body and soul, simply breathe.
"kokyuu suru"-Breathe.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Self Defence and the giggles
I spent 3 hours this week working on self defence alone. Trust me, I needed it. I struggle with self defence, it does not come all that easily to me, and due to my handicap (of needing to write down each step before I "know" it ) it often feels like I am expelling a whole lot of effort to simply stand there with a confused look on my face while my sensei patiently explains each step over and over again . My sensei is very serious about teaching self defence, he wants us to be able to not only recognize bad situations but also have enough knowledge to a.) fight back, or b.) get the hell out of there. Sadly enough, whenever I screwed up on my techniques, my quirky sense of humor kicked in and I found myself wondering if anyone has tried to "get the hell out of there" on a belt test!? Of course my imagination kicked in and I pictured myself on my belt test making a frantic dash for the door leaving my uki stunned on the mats. Of course Anne, in her usual fashion, got the giggles. Have you ever tried remembering each step of a technique while trying to quell laughter, and keeping a straight face?? EPIC FAIL...
Self defence at home: Friday night, I took Mark up on his offer to help me. Yes, he's promised to help me anytime I ask for it. Was he on drugs when he offered?? I do not know. I explained that two of my self defence moves involved a "take down" (put your opponent on the floor), and he looked a little uneasy. He made a quick gesture to the bed (we were upstairs in the bedroom to work on the carpet )and asked quickly if we should maybe pull the mattress pad on the floor to work on that instead of the carpet. Where is the trust ??? His face alone made me want to laugh all over again. Before each of the moves I told him exactly what I was going to do. I reminded him that if the holds started to hurt he was to tap his legs or call out "mate". He gave me a look, ( the eye rolling sort) and said, "how about I just say stop??" Stop works too apparently. When we were done, I think Mark looked at me with different eyes. He saw me as someone who will someday, be able to protect herself with deadly force if needed. I hope that day never ever comes, if it ever did, I will a.) be able to fight back or b.) run like hell!
New goals:
One of the things I have been discussing with Dan is aerobic and anaerobic conditioning. I desparately want to start doing more of that on my off time when I am not at the Dojo. I came up with a workout plan that I will hope will be a good start to a great training program for me. I am starting small but I plan to increase it once my fitness gets better.
Monday: 6:30-7:30 pm
Karate (kata, technique night)
Tuesday: 4:30-5:30 pm
Burpees (25)
Treadmill workout an intense hill workout for 30 mins
Wednesday: 6:30-7:30pm
karate (sparring night)
Thursday: 4:30-6:30 pm
Burpees (25)
Treadmill workout
Friday: 6:30-7:30
Karate (self defence)
Saturday: 8:00 am
treadmill
yoga
Sunday:2-4 pm
karate (techniques, kata and self defence)
Well this concludes my first week of blogging. Enjoy this week, and I'll leave you with this thought; "Don't be afraid of stepping off the path, your footsteps are the path"
Self defence at home: Friday night, I took Mark up on his offer to help me. Yes, he's promised to help me anytime I ask for it. Was he on drugs when he offered?? I do not know. I explained that two of my self defence moves involved a "take down" (put your opponent on the floor), and he looked a little uneasy. He made a quick gesture to the bed (we were upstairs in the bedroom to work on the carpet )and asked quickly if we should maybe pull the mattress pad on the floor to work on that instead of the carpet. Where is the trust ??? His face alone made me want to laugh all over again. Before each of the moves I told him exactly what I was going to do. I reminded him that if the holds started to hurt he was to tap his legs or call out "mate". He gave me a look, ( the eye rolling sort) and said, "how about I just say stop??" Stop works too apparently. When we were done, I think Mark looked at me with different eyes. He saw me as someone who will someday, be able to protect herself with deadly force if needed. I hope that day never ever comes, if it ever did, I will a.) be able to fight back or b.) run like hell!
New goals:
One of the things I have been discussing with Dan is aerobic and anaerobic conditioning. I desparately want to start doing more of that on my off time when I am not at the Dojo. I came up with a workout plan that I will hope will be a good start to a great training program for me. I am starting small but I plan to increase it once my fitness gets better.
Monday: 6:30-7:30 pm
Karate (kata, technique night)
Tuesday: 4:30-5:30 pm
Burpees (25)
Treadmill workout an intense hill workout for 30 mins
Wednesday: 6:30-7:30pm
karate (sparring night)
Thursday: 4:30-6:30 pm
Burpees (25)
Treadmill workout
Friday: 6:30-7:30
Karate (self defence)
Saturday: 8:00 am
treadmill
yoga
Sunday:2-4 pm
karate (techniques, kata and self defence)
Well this concludes my first week of blogging. Enjoy this week, and I'll leave you with this thought; "Don't be afraid of stepping off the path, your footsteps are the path"
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Time to Say Thanks
I need to acknowledge a few people today.
First and foremost:
Mark, husband of mine for almost 9 years. You have seen the best of me and the very worst of me, and yet you encourage me to find my way, and do whatever it takes to achieve my goals. Thank you for fixing yourself dinner monday, wednesday, and friday nights, taking out the dogs when I am too sore to move, and not divorcing me for kicking you and backfisting you in my sleep. You are an amazing uki (self defence practice person) and your trust in me not to do too much damage to you while putting you down on the floor is fantastic. I love you honey!!
Daniel, you are one of my very best and dearest friends. You are an amazing athlete and are a large part of my inspiration to always strive to be better than I am. Thank you for putting up with all my sports and health related questions. Laughing with me (and at me :P) and listening to me talk endlessly about all things in life. Thanks for sharing your history papers with me, and not laughing when I get all excited about medieval history. You are always there to remind me not to kill myself whilst trying to conquer the world, and we all know that while I may not conquer the world, I am going to try my hardest to make it a better place.
Jeff: I have to tell you that this is ALL YOUR FAULT!! Thank you for giving me the idea to try martial arts in the first place, and responding to all my karate related posts on facebook. I never knew I would adore karate so much and I am excited to share a love of the sport with you!
Family friends and co-workers: Thanks for listening to all my stories, maybe I will find something more to talk about other than karate after I start putting all my thoughts in this blog. No promises though!!! I appreciate all the encouragement to "kick some ass" !!
To my Senseis, you share your knowledge, skill and time with all of your students. I am lucky to be part of such a honorable and respectable Dojo. I promise to give you my all and my best each time I step foot inside the Dojo. I may get the self defence giggles from time to time, but I will always work hard and listen to what you say.
Anne
First and foremost:
Mark, husband of mine for almost 9 years. You have seen the best of me and the very worst of me, and yet you encourage me to find my way, and do whatever it takes to achieve my goals. Thank you for fixing yourself dinner monday, wednesday, and friday nights, taking out the dogs when I am too sore to move, and not divorcing me for kicking you and backfisting you in my sleep. You are an amazing uki (self defence practice person) and your trust in me not to do too much damage to you while putting you down on the floor is fantastic. I love you honey!!
Daniel, you are one of my very best and dearest friends. You are an amazing athlete and are a large part of my inspiration to always strive to be better than I am. Thank you for putting up with all my sports and health related questions. Laughing with me (and at me :P) and listening to me talk endlessly about all things in life. Thanks for sharing your history papers with me, and not laughing when I get all excited about medieval history. You are always there to remind me not to kill myself whilst trying to conquer the world, and we all know that while I may not conquer the world, I am going to try my hardest to make it a better place.
Jeff: I have to tell you that this is ALL YOUR FAULT!! Thank you for giving me the idea to try martial arts in the first place, and responding to all my karate related posts on facebook. I never knew I would adore karate so much and I am excited to share a love of the sport with you!
Family friends and co-workers: Thanks for listening to all my stories, maybe I will find something more to talk about other than karate after I start putting all my thoughts in this blog. No promises though!!! I appreciate all the encouragement to "kick some ass" !!
To my Senseis, you share your knowledge, skill and time with all of your students. I am lucky to be part of such a honorable and respectable Dojo. I promise to give you my all and my best each time I step foot inside the Dojo. I may get the self defence giggles from time to time, but I will always work hard and listen to what you say.
Anne
Friday, March 12, 2010
The Last Six Months: a Recapituation
September 10th, 2009. My very first karate class. There I fell in love, became slightly obessed, and started this journey. For any adult beginning karate students, I am sure that you can commiserate the feelings of nervousness and excitment, all bound together to create a highly strung (more highly strung than usual for me) version of yourselves. I remember physically starting when my sensei called for the three of us to sit in lines, and then practically tripping over myself to get to the mats. I dont remember much more of that first class it all seemed like an intense blur, but I know that I gave it my all and didnt think the workout was all that hard....
The next three days were spent in sheer agony, as all my out-of-shape muscles screamed in protest to the previous nights activity. I could barely walk, dont even ask me how I managed to go up and down stairs (I'll give you a hint: very gingerly and whimpering like a baby with every step taken) and my arms hung uselessly from my sides like limp spaghetti. My Co-workers wondered what kind of very good drugs I was on , as here I was limping, barely able to move (and when I did I think even the slow moving seniors out there had taken pity on me), and yet all that could come out of my mouth was my karate class and how awesome it was. I was hooked after the first day.
The next three months were several things, excruciatingly painful (you want me to do how many pushups... on my knuckles??) strangely exhilarating (yes!!! I can pack a powerful punch and kick) and filled with mental head aches (for someone with average to above intellgence, I can not do a Kata unless I have all the moves written out and memorised .. yes if you look in my little green duotang I have, the first step in my chung ji kata as "look left, turn 90 degrees to the left into a left lower block in a front stance").
My half yellow belt test: (November 28th 2009) My sensei is small but his presence can fill an entire room... with mixed feelings of trepidation and intimidation. Yes folks, he can scare me to the point where I stand there frozen to the spot uable to move and comprehend a single order hes given out. I love it! He expects the best out of you and you only dare to give it your very best or he will call you on it. Before my test, the other sensei that worked with us took one look at me and told me to, "just breathe". I took this to heart and I am sure that Sensei Lyle was probably wondering why I was sucking back wind, and so noisely at that, the entire duration of my belt test. I did pass my test, not exactly with flying colors, but well enough to be proud of myself and what I had accomplished since september.
The art of desicrating...errr...dying your belt. Yes people, there is a way to dye your belt half yellow... although I neglected to ask whether you simply dye half of it yellow on both sides or all yellow on one side. The simplest way, the way that made most sense was to dye half the belt on both sides yellow. I apparently missed my common sense pill that morning and took it upon myself to dye (with fabric paint I might add) the entire length on one side yellow. As you can imagine, my endever ended up in huge failure. The fabric paint soaked through both sides and resulted in a frantic trip to Michaels to buy white fabric paint to cover up the yellow that had soaked through to the other side. A few curse words and tears later (with my husband wondering if he should check me into the psychiatric ward)I was pretty proud of myself for having accomplished such a difficult task. It wasnt until my very first intermediate class that I realised the collossal error I had made. All the other half yellow belts had half their belt- both sides dyed. I could have cried, but of course you dont cry in karate class . After class that night I grimly bought more yellow and white fabric paint and set about making my belt the way it should have been. My belt is now yellow and yellowish-white, and I am looking forward to the day that I can earn my full yellow and put away the disaster I have been wearing for the last three months . Valuable life lesson: if its nearly impossible, you are doing it WRONG!!
January 2010- till today. All things said and done, I have been amazed with what I have been able to achieve so far; my heian shodan kata is coming along very solidly (because I wrote it out!!!), my techniques are getting better and faster, I am fairly flexible and I have decent power. I am still trying to figure out sparring and how to control my tricks . Ultimately my goal is to enjoy the journey set out in front of me and the destination is earning my black belt. I hope to share all that is karate and life oriented so please feel free to laugh and cry alongside of me :) To have friends to share your life is one of the greatest things imaginable.
The next three days were spent in sheer agony, as all my out-of-shape muscles screamed in protest to the previous nights activity. I could barely walk, dont even ask me how I managed to go up and down stairs (I'll give you a hint: very gingerly and whimpering like a baby with every step taken) and my arms hung uselessly from my sides like limp spaghetti. My Co-workers wondered what kind of very good drugs I was on , as here I was limping, barely able to move (and when I did I think even the slow moving seniors out there had taken pity on me), and yet all that could come out of my mouth was my karate class and how awesome it was. I was hooked after the first day.
The next three months were several things, excruciatingly painful (you want me to do how many pushups... on my knuckles??) strangely exhilarating (yes!!! I can pack a powerful punch and kick) and filled with mental head aches (for someone with average to above intellgence, I can not do a Kata unless I have all the moves written out and memorised .. yes if you look in my little green duotang I have, the first step in my chung ji kata as "look left, turn 90 degrees to the left into a left lower block in a front stance").
My half yellow belt test: (November 28th 2009) My sensei is small but his presence can fill an entire room... with mixed feelings of trepidation and intimidation. Yes folks, he can scare me to the point where I stand there frozen to the spot uable to move and comprehend a single order hes given out. I love it! He expects the best out of you and you only dare to give it your very best or he will call you on it. Before my test, the other sensei that worked with us took one look at me and told me to, "just breathe". I took this to heart and I am sure that Sensei Lyle was probably wondering why I was sucking back wind, and so noisely at that, the entire duration of my belt test. I did pass my test, not exactly with flying colors, but well enough to be proud of myself and what I had accomplished since september.
The art of desicrating...errr...dying your belt. Yes people, there is a way to dye your belt half yellow... although I neglected to ask whether you simply dye half of it yellow on both sides or all yellow on one side. The simplest way, the way that made most sense was to dye half the belt on both sides yellow. I apparently missed my common sense pill that morning and took it upon myself to dye (with fabric paint I might add) the entire length on one side yellow. As you can imagine, my endever ended up in huge failure. The fabric paint soaked through both sides and resulted in a frantic trip to Michaels to buy white fabric paint to cover up the yellow that had soaked through to the other side. A few curse words and tears later (with my husband wondering if he should check me into the psychiatric ward)I was pretty proud of myself for having accomplished such a difficult task. It wasnt until my very first intermediate class that I realised the collossal error I had made. All the other half yellow belts had half their belt- both sides dyed. I could have cried, but of course you dont cry in karate class . After class that night I grimly bought more yellow and white fabric paint and set about making my belt the way it should have been. My belt is now yellow and yellowish-white, and I am looking forward to the day that I can earn my full yellow and put away the disaster I have been wearing for the last three months . Valuable life lesson: if its nearly impossible, you are doing it WRONG!!
January 2010- till today. All things said and done, I have been amazed with what I have been able to achieve so far; my heian shodan kata is coming along very solidly (because I wrote it out!!!), my techniques are getting better and faster, I am fairly flexible and I have decent power. I am still trying to figure out sparring and how to control my tricks . Ultimately my goal is to enjoy the journey set out in front of me and the destination is earning my black belt. I hope to share all that is karate and life oriented so please feel free to laugh and cry alongside of me :) To have friends to share your life is one of the greatest things imaginable.
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